I know what I'm about to say sounds defeatist, but it's not, I assure you. It's all about how I feel. That's what is most important, isn't it?

The reason why I set up this blog is that I wanted to help people in my position. I have had mental health problems since the age of 8. In my younger years, I never had any help for it. It was only when I was in my late teens that I started to get some. Funnily enough, just by doing it myself. It's been patchy over the years, some help good and some not so good.

It's very easy, if you have mental health problems, to give up looking for it especially when you've never had any that's worked. I'm not here to say, please continue to do so. No doubt you've heard that many times before. I just want to give you another viewpoint with the chance that you might very well say, 'Hey, that's me!'

No, the way I see it at the moment (note I say at the moment) for me is that I feel that no amount of anything can help me. Some things are so deeply ingrained that, I feel, it would take a miracle to address them correctly and with any results. Yep, that's defeatist, isn't it? I've given up, haven't I?

No, I haven't.

If help is offered to me, I will take it. Whatever help that is, I will work hard with it to try and get me out of this mindset. What I do think is that I'm beyond help, but it doesn't mean I've given up. If I had I wouldn't even bother getting up in the morning. I wouldn't even bother writing this blog. So, here are the ways I'm trying to get some help:

  1. Although I'm under a psychiatrist, you wouldn't know it but I shall be getting a referral to another. Yes, I'm trying to help myself still.
  2. I see a counsellor at The Listening Place (London) every 2 weeks. Again, helping myself.
  3. I have regular contact with someone at the Camden Hub. Again, help!
  4. I'm in regular contact with my GP. Yeh, you get the idea.

So, what is my point exactly. I'm not even sure I was trying to make a point. I'm just hoping to connect with you, for whatever reason. Maybe you can relate and you feel comfortable and safe enough to share your feelings with me. For you to know that there is always support out there for you even if it's from just another sufferer. I won't say, there is hope, because that word in this context really winds me up. If it was that easy to free yourself of depression etc., just by having some hope, then we all would have done it by now.

What do you think? Do ever you feel like this?